“Meri bacchhaaaaa ki shaadi hain” sez Laloo

Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son to get married
Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case……Yes"

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Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Ambani : "Ah, in that case…..Yes"

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Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the WorldBank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case…….Yes."
Now this is how business is done!!

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ps:Found this somewhere,though dont remember where :O

ps1:But title n pic's mine.

The Battle of the Willow

The opening scene :

A few days ago, some of the guys were playing cricket in the 2nd floor of OBH , of course the bat was mine 🙂 Everyone was enjoying himself.

Damage to windows and stuff not that probable ‘coz the ball was light-tennis .

The Villains :
Mr.(2-1-12-1) and the security guards (couple of them) hatched a conspiracy to destroy the harmony in the floor , to obliterate a bunch of good boys playing a harmless game.Of course all this under the command of every hosteler’s worst nemesis Mr.(2-12-14)

Each following-rules-maniac surrounded thearea of play from three sides and slowly approached the gullible students who were unaware of the disco-stooges closing in.

“CATCH!” shouted one of them and they jumped , with their epic-paunches,super-sized waists and a shit-headed madness to implement rules.The bat was confiscated but the good guys escaped.

The battle:

The next day, yours truly went to Mr(2-1-12-1) and said, “Sir! Thats my bat !Please return it.”

“No! Its not your bat!U were not playing yesterday.”

“But sir , my friends were ..”

“Oh! Your friends ? Tell me their names “

Did the big-paunch actually think that I would give him names ??Then he said that Saurabh (final year) was playing (I didn’t give the latter my bat!!)He made me run around the whole building asking me to get everyone who usually play cricket in the corridors (Why me 😦 ??)

“But why r u taking my bat ? If u r so hell (shouldn’t have used this word 😦 ) bent on maintaing decorum , catch them not my bat.Will you take disciplinary action on a bat ?? “

“Go meet Mr(2-12-14) “

Face-off with the Ultimate villain :

Mr.(2-12-14) the big-paunch ..oh oh! already used “big”.Err ..hmm ..aah!And so “colossal-paunch” sat in his heavily suffocating , heavily stinking fart-filled ro

om .At that moment he reminded me of the character below:

“So are you doing dadagiri ?? “

What the .. ??

“No sir ! I was only asking for my bat !”

“Shut up!U magnanimously give your bat to evreyone and they play in corridors “

“Sir but what is the problem ? “

“Playing in the corridor disturbs other students ?? Poor people !They must be sleeping !! “

Yeah right! Boys in OBH sleep at 10 ! 😉

Of course the other issue is that if this state of corridor-cricket-phobia continues… TT ,carroms , even talking at night in the corridors will be banned in the future because its causing disturbance to dont-know-who !!

“Sir! I am sorry !Please retun my bat! “

“Keep quiet ! R u telling me what to do ?? “

What the …?? Didn’t his cholestrol-filled ears hear the word “please” .

“Sir!But ..”

“Keep quiet!Let me speak ! You find out who was playing last night and tell me “.

Am I his sniffing dog ??

Then he geared up to give some shit-laden lecture about moral values which was more of the self opinion-shit type than”ethics” as he called them.

“Sir Please… I have to go to class “

That hurt the sadistic overlord’s prestige .”Shut aaaaaap! get aaaaaaaaaout!” he thundered.

Why did he get all pissed off?

‘coz I preffered going to class than listening to his rubbish ? I went out.

The battle continues …

Will they stop corridor-cricket by such crap-shit-laden routines ? What is bothering them?The guards;Mr.(2-12-14) and Mr.(2-1-12-1) wet their pants when it comes to dealing with the real things like :

1) Drunkards who are full of dope , shouting , fighting,creating a nuisance that too in front of those khumsi-khumsa guards ! (Woah!dont get angry some of you drinking pals… I have a problem only with the nuisance thing)

@ (2-12-14) : Dont u call that disturbance , colossal-paunch ?

2)Lots of other things which just cannot be revealed, unless I want my photo to be garlanded !!

After all its not my problem. The no-good govt.clerk-types with complete stomachs and incomplete bhejas are trying to make us believe that they are trying to maintain “decorum and discipline”.Then they are supposed to do it in case of issues where it really matters!(Finding out the real matters is also their headache)
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ps : Had to submit an apology letter to Mr.(2-1-12-1) 😦 (see!who are the dadas now ??)But my bat is still not returned.
ps1 :My s****ed up air-cooler will be repaired by tonight! Nothing like a good ol’ working air-cooler 🙂

ps2 : Smoking should be banned in IIIT main.Probably will talk and rap about this in the next post .

The thing about nicks

I went home for the weekend and Granma said "How are you ,chantoda ? Nearly a fortnight since you came home"

"Ammamma! I am 19.Not chantodu anymore " (chantoda = little boy) 😉

Grandpa said "You are always chantodu to us." I dont exactly see a relevance but got inspired to write this post.

Once during the first year I gave my fellow-in-wing,arms,distress,etc., the nick "Sandy" .He countered (he de facto rocks at CS ) by calling me "Bobs".Thats how my first nick was born.

The "sandy" thing vanished like described in Metallica's "I diasappear" but the "Bobs" thing caught on with others. Alternate versions like "Bobsy","Bay-ba" too came up 🙂

One more nick that cropped up in the first year was Enthu.P or Enthu Pea.Original idea is credited to Anand Vasudev.

A more mellow,senti side comes up when I think about the nicks at home. Ammamma n Thata (Granma 'n' Granpa) call me "Chantoda" as mentioned above.

Mom calls me "Kaana" inspired from the busy bee tag Lord Krishna had when he was a little fellow.

But my favourite is dad's "Abbuluga !" 😉 (Abbulugaadu = funny amusing fellow in Telugu slang (I am not sure !!))

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ps : Actually felt good listening to Mr.Stanley's philosophy(of all courses!!! ) lecture.

p1 :Raghu's birthday had the bum-bashing session missing 😦

ps2 : I always used to say when I was a chantodu "I want to be He-Man when I grow up."But surely not someone like this

ps3:IIIT stationary saaaaaaaks

ps4: One big uncoveted show-down with Mr.BLN and Mr.Bala coming up.Will soon dedicate a post for this.For now, it will be "The battle of the willow"

Gyminker

Definition :"A fella/entity who works out at a gym , never changes those sweaty clothes, doesn't wash himself,comes back the next day in the same unwashed stinking clothes,is all hairy-scary so enhances the stink with his ***puke *** super-stinking odour.Hence, ,he successfully makes the lives of other good ol' gymmers think thathell is an understatement"

Deterministic Equation :
Gymmer + Stinker = Gyminker.
The Inside Story :
The gym is a jolly good place . Most good ol' folks from all the batches are frequenting it more often these days.Of course , with the macho-est AmitGoyal and good ol' me 😉 around ..who needs a gym instructor 😀

But then I came across a problem the previous day… the Gyminker.There is this PG guy whose name I know not.But he sure kicks up a stink.

I mean its natural the guys sweat it out at the gym.But the exhaust fans get rid of the odour before the damned thing affects the environment in the gym.

But the good ol' exhaust fans finally met their match.This PG guy satisfies all the criteria laid down in the definition above.Anna … not only are u"garbage"fying yourself but also making us stay away from the gym.Please take a shower,change your clothes and of course,use a deodrant.
Future Possibities :

IIITians are becoming more n more lazy nowadays. Okay become lazy …but not semi-lazy ,i.e., you aren't lazy enough to give physical activties a shot but are surely lazy enough to skip washing the sweat n dust !!

If this mental-epidemic catches on , we will be having more stinkers..oh sorry! rather futbolinkers , cricketinkers , basketbalinkers,volleybalinkers ,etc.,Then it will affect the ladies as well … aaaargh!! That would be like ****puke ****

The plea :

Come on u guys lets stop

this stink-fired situation …

Before it takes over the

IIITian perception

N then all we would associate

health that is pink

With ( Oh my goodness ) 😦

The SUPER MUTATED STINK ???

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PS : That was an exaggerated thinky-routine.But as Hari-Seldon says : "Better plan and gear up for all future possibilities"

PS1: The last one week saw that the people who are into evening physical activity (sports,gym,etc.,) are mostly from ug3 !! 😀

The Sambhar of 69

I had my first real rupees,
stole it from my father’s pants.
went to the FF mess,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
Lilli puked, BK got ulcers,
and Koms ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 2009,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in ranting,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat…… yeah

standing there waiting outside,
Guys told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

That is the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting screwed,
I was loaded and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever – FOREVER… NO!!!!

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ps : A whole new avatar : “THE SPOOF MASTER” is finally unleashed 😉

M : Love , Arranged and Forced

Check out this article from the Hindu.
I dont understand whats wrong with the Indians out there in Britan.Why do they look at the issue in a “pogrom of human rights ” kinda view. 😦

love Ms are fine. Arranged Ms (esp. in Indian cases) albeit drawing infnite glances from the rest of the world are I guess okay too.

But parents forcing a person to marry someone is totally ..hmm … super mutated,obnoxious,crap shit ?!?! (I just did a Mad Monkey 😉 )
My take on the consequences is that such forced Ms lead to extra-martial relationships 😦 later on .

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PS : Watched the “krrish” trailor and it was AWESOME. Reminded me of TheMatrix and Aparichitudu (aka Anniyan) at once 🙂

PS1 : Watched “Aksar” last night.Got a word for it too … BIZZARE crap !

O abbulugaadi katha …

Well … the last one week was absolutely BIZZARE.

The Believing factor :

The bizzare thing :You see there are things I always believed in.Then all of a sudden I come across other things which looked like greater ..err.. things !!So good ol’ abbulugadu gears up to sacrifice all that he’s believed in because he whole-heartedly,selflessly felt that he could finally do something for those who (at least initially) believed him so much so as to negotiate him into believing !?!?But guess the sacrifice was too good to believe 😦

The bright side :Well at least this fellow still believes

————————————————————————

The BTP factor:

The bizzare thing :Amit n myself had to take a U-turn w.r.t to BTP to escape the fire-breathing Dragon among BTP-panel judges.

The bright side :Guess we are more mentally prepared for next time.Amit’s already entered a “When the going gets tough the tough get going ” mind-set. Prof.JS is also ready to help from the good-advice-giving perspective.

————————————————————————————–

The Mr.V factor :

The bizzare thing :Me of the opinion that Mr.V’s suffering from sorta apoplectic narcissism.He comes to my room out of the blues and tells me all my flaws and how he’s better than me and the others !?!? Okay sir! I hmbly deign to your self-proclaimed superiority.

The bright side :Many people support my views.BK,NTR and whole lot of other chaps tell me that what the dude says are lies.Perhaps s.th like Additive White Gaussian Noise in a signal

————————————————————————————-

The accident factor :

The bizzare thing :Some big-belly dude with a not-working-horn(y) motorcycle driving on the right side of the road (Good God! He didn’t look like an American to me) rams into my bike yesterday.Then he starts abusing me threatening to do putatively bizzare things to me if I didn’t pay up.Again Good God! There wasn’t a f***in scratch on his bike while my side light was broken and my Rs.500/- goggles were broken (yeah the same ones that Erra Balu wore while dancing at the Musical nite :))

The bright side : I maintained my cool ! God knows what would have happened had I lost my temper 😉

“the ppl ” (my mom,the roadside shopkeepers,the “Naariel paani wallah” , holi-playing aunties,etc.,) came and accused him of ramming,threatening and scaring a nice ,innocent,gullible little boy (no .. honest! these are the exact terms they used)

————————————————————————————–

The bike thought :

The bizzare thing :I was going home on my bike and as a foolow-through to the above things … I felt like the dude in the Bajaj-Avenger ad (though mine’s a Unicorn ) ..u know .. goes s.th like

“I forgive my this , I forgive my that , blah blah blah …. I feel like ..I feel like God ” .Except the last line though , me not into any sort of blasphemy or self-apotheosis .

The bright side : Same as above.

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THE SUMMARY :

So I rap 😉

Shit happens in everyone’s life

That might even kick-start a strife

First the good ol’ faith factor

F***ks me up

But guess HE the benefactor

Wants me to do s.th else

Maybe ring calling bells ??

Telling mom that me the gud guy

An argument which I hope she’ll buy

Guess me still running in life n on the road

Hope I will never get bored !?!?

Viva day ‘n’ RK … blew senses away !?!?

Okay …So just came to know that our viva didn’t go as well as expected ! The irony of the matter …. well !! We were really prepared to lay the mighty ol’ smackdown at the viva downtown (used it ‘coz it rhymes … dont worry over the “downtown” relevance 😉 )

We had a laptown containing a totally fundoo ppt presentation and of course totally prepared to hold fort against one of the most lethal, fatal panels in Education today !! But then DISASTER 😦 Laptop battery went down.The power connection in the room was f***ed up.

Even then good ol’ Amit and ‘yours truly’ faced the storm from the person who knows it all …the Communication field’s (not Image Processing … BAD LUCK) super-saiya-jin…the apparently deadly,merciless …the one n only … Prof.VUR .

So we had to explain stuff which had no real relevance in the project …just plain ol’ Image Processing fundas! When we were actually warming up to get into the real thing of the project … the gr8 VUR sir goes like “Its 7:15 PM pls wrap it up quickly” (u read it right 7:15 PM ..our viva started at 7:00 … the obvious reality when you have one of the most powerful panels ! )

Then just when I was pondering over everything after dinner ,the cold-hearted icing on the nightmarish cake … 😦

RK dude walked in and said … “You know what is dirtier than eating half an apple and finding a full-sized worm in the other half ?”

Yuck!

“Abbuluga! The yuckier thing is … finding a half-sized worm in the other half .”

Yuck ! Yuck!

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ps : teepo and I were pitted against each other in CS in one of the games and I won 😀

ps1: That was too subtle.Okay here i go again ” the legendary Butcher was stranded with Yours truly in an infernal CS situation when I laid the mighty ol’ smackdown on his roooody pooh candy a** “

ps2 : Teepo!No hard feelings ol’ pal …

ps3 : …but you were the cockroach … (remember the 1st year’s cockroach-incident :))

IIIT Mag : Parody to the “Foundation” saga

Foreword :

The content in this humble little good old post is :

>>Based majorly on the opinion of a major section of the IIITian population …I mean at least those who are truly concerned in all their mental ingenuity!
>>Also based a little on my objective observation
>>In no way related to my subjective perceptions.

THE SELDON CRISIS :

The question about the IIIT Magazine : Will it be redeemed ?????

Even if it is …. will the same standards be maintained as we witnessed back in 2003 ?

THE FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE :

The semi-legendary Mag team in 2003 (at least to my eyes they were … way back in 2003 ) who took the IIIT Mag to the acme of glory !

To those students who got admitted after me (my juniors) the true passion of this team of people (Su,Akshay,Shiben,Kiran Satish ,Pranav,Satvik) and the magnificience of the IIIT Magazine were fables … unbelievable fables!

THE ETERNALS :

Rather the “Eternal” … our beloved Mrs.Marathe of course. The Eternals are a group of entities who preside over the working of different probailities in time and space (they have control over time !!!)

Similarly,Mrs.Marathe plays an essential role into deciding what is best 🙂

Hari Seldon :

None is interested to take up this role. So I have no other option but to take this risk myself 😮

Also,guess I made one prophecy correctly much before people started doubting the revival of IIIT Mag (in Nov. 2k6) .So I am at least partially qualified to be Seldon.

THE MULE :

The guy whom this guy is spewing venom at …

Gotto say I have nothing against “The Mule” for calling him the Mule(certainly doesn’t mean anything derogatory..its what a powerful character in the plot is called).But I just want to make an implication at a person who looks at things in a way different from how the First Galactic Empire looked.

THE FIRST FOUNDATION :

The people who are under the control of “The mule” and who will enhance their own individualistic tendencies if “The Mule” takes over 😦

THE SECOND FOUNDATION :

The good guys … for the future upholding of the Mag (i.e., if the Mag is redeemed)Jimmy,Spawn , Badrinath,Halley etc., (Forgive me if some names are not included … its not u but the limitation of my knowledge that is to blame)

THE SECOND GALACTIC EMPIRE :

A preternatural state of mag-utopia !! ONLY ACCOMPLISHED IF THE MAG FALLS OUT OF THIS CRISIS !!

The CAT , the mag-splat , the door mat and the cricket bat

Of late,these are the four things which are absolutely disturbing this good ol’ mind of mine .So thought I would go for a step-by-step analysis :

THE CAT :

1)Saw the movie “Pet Cemetery” recently .The black zombie-cat didn’t exactly give me the goose bumps, but did fill in me a sense of deja vu…..a situation similar to that in the matrix (first part)

2)Anyway coming to the actual thing …CAT. Me recently gripped by an acute paranoia of the CAT.I think I will just outline things by rapping :

I dont know why…

But think in CAT I wont fly

Me scared n about to cry

But I will still not cease to try

I must work hard lest

I wannabe deep-fry ??

THE MAG SPLAT

Okay … just check this and this out !!

This mind of mine is really baffled because of all these.But gotto agree with this IMM regarding some of the issues albeit he’s got a crude way of putting things . My prima-facie guess was that he was suffering from sort of apoplexy 😉 .,but beneath all his shit-fired way of putting things, he’s got some valid points 🙂
However, I say Jimmy Narang‘s the best guy to be incharge (an opinion retorted by the good ol’ Spawn too)since the present ug3 guys will be busy nxt yr.So a full-time commitment towards Mag is not guaranteed.Moreover, the guy’s got the talent and brains to do things the right way !
THE DOOR MAT :

Now the most insignificant thing …. my door mat (insignificant for others 😉 )

Some idiot stole my brand new door mat (I hung it outside my room to dry).

The amusing thing is that what the CAT thing and the mag-thing couldn’t do was successfully accomplished by a stupid door-mat …… i.e., MAKING ME HUMONGOUSLY FRUSTOO 😡

THE CRICKET BAT :

First of all,an ipso-facto statement !I initially included this part only because it made a rhyme out of the title 😉

Anyway,yesterday’s test match’s last few sessions actually made me hope for an Indian victory.Of course the hope was unfortunately short-lived 😦 The way team India sent Pathan and Dhoni out to bat and perhaps try for the impossible. Had they actually hit 160+ in those last 20 overs, it would be the stuff legends are made of 🙂

Reminds me of Sir Anthony Hopkins ‘ dialogue in MI-2 :”Its not Mission Difficult,Mr.Hunt! Its Mission Impossible!Why, Difficult’s a walk in the park !”