Monthly Archives: March 2009

**The Metro Kolkatan Epic** Episode 3: Lord of the kachoris

The laws of my genetically inherited motion sickness didn’t fail to come back in repercussions. As I took the metro again. From tollygunge to Rabindra Sarobar to Kalighat to J.D.Park to Rabindra Sadan and boooom !!! The motion sickness returns …To retribute my defiance of it by the metro travelling

So I got down at Rabindra Sadan, an area famous for the St.Paul’s cathedral and the rotary club of Kolkata. Anyway …

I went to this big Haldiram out let and ordered a Raj Kachori. The French girl seemed to be scared because of the inner constituents of this magnificient Indian answer  to the McDonalds bugger. Reminded her of vomit (ha ha ha !!! )

Raj Kachori

And then I came to know that there is this queer French dish called Tartiflette (picture shown below) . I must say looked like a Raj Kachori with the outer part removed. Hence,I concluded that it is patriotic favoritism and not exactly the European paranoia at Indian junk food. Hmm it matters anyway .. 😛


Verse of the day:

And so I ate the Kachori lord

That generally generates a big fat bod

Similar is this amusing thingie, the  tartiflette

Supposedly  loved by every French brunette


Va te faire fouttre?

It means “wtf” in French

Both are anyway bad for your diet

I have no idea what more to write  !! 😛


(and the metro-kolkatan saga continues ….  )

**The Metro-Kolkatan epic** Episode 2: Operation “call centre acquisition”

Taking off from the last episode…

I was at Dum Dum and walked my way to a street called Jesore Road. After eating some rice noodles at a random dhaba     ( Dhaba and noodles !!!! Now thats a crazy combo 🙂 ) I suddenly started thinking how ridiculous it seems to go all the way from Joka to Dum Dum (> 35 km)  without having any work sans writing a blog post and eating rice noodles.

And hence  decided to do some random thing. Then I walked  into some arbitrary call centre

I went in and there was this pseude looking guy ( would have used the word “gay” but for the sake of political correctedness, sticking to ‘pseude’) He was the manager. I snatched his pen and paper.  I started drawing blocks and boxes like you see in the Software enginering course!  And finally I said …

There !!! That is the due-diligence, acquisition and re-structuring propaganda for your call centre !!!  So I am taking over and will become your new boss

I expected him to lash out. But …

He went like, “God ! I knew it ..I knew someone would come to buy it. I am not just a manager but the owner too. I am tired of the BPO industry. Its monotonous and a no-brainer . The industry is down because of the global crisis. And that too in Kolkata, its far worse than in other parts.Please buy it ” He took out papers. ” How much are you paying ? Cheque or cash is okay”

I wondered if it really is so swift and easy …buying a firm ! Or probabaly that is so , only for a small call centre in Kolkata. Anyway back to the situation …

I didn’t know what to do.  The acting is going too far. I was only expecting him to kick me out for ofering to take over his centre. But he seemed to treat me like  a Messiah now 😐 He started ranting about the lives of his employees. Started shooting out super corny lines about families, social status etc., :O

While he was delving in the glory of  playing damsel-in-distress , all I was thinking was how much  ass-kicking was in s

tore for me.

Poor chap even ordered coffee to be brought in. At this I got up and told him the truth. Well ! After a dose of verbal thrashing for what he called  a sadistic prank, he threatened to call the police for nuisance. Hehe .. I dont think that was a criminal offence. But well ! Guess I showed him hope in a service industry world where there seems to be no hope owing to the economic downturn et al. 😐  Anyway …

I walked out, but not before finishing the coffee 😛

(the saga continues)

*The Metro -Kolkatan epic* Episode 1: Progressive Primacy

And so I took, just for the sake of blogging-inspiration, the metro a couple of days ago.

I should be killed for digressing but this is worth mentioning. While I had to go from Joka to Tollygunj station to catch the metro, I realised that the cab charges for this goes anywhere between Rs.100 to Rs.150/- A strategic comparison with the sharing-auto fares (Rs.12/- to Shaker Bazaar and another Rs.9/- to tolly gunj in a different auto) gave me a opportunity cost oriented  contingency margin of around Rs.100/-  (ha ha ! I should cut this mgmt. mumbo jumbo :p)

Anyway thats not the gist of it. The auto chap and the middle aged bald gentleman sharing the auto with me were discussing about the communist rule in West Bengal, how a direct authoritarian goverment rule is curbing progress et al.

Then at the metro, there were more  middle aged bald gentlemen (Lots of them in India ! Its almost like an axiom that the middle aged working proletariat gentleman is bald, has a paunch and flaunts a face in a metro as if someone just kicked him in the nuts !!  😦 ) They were discussing the same. In a half-english , half-bengali combo of verbatim !!!

These gentlemen are no doubt Intellectuals , well-informed, and socially aware.In spite of being  smelling-of-coffee, jelly-bellied, frown faced, and frustrated uncles thinking they could still steal the occasional stare at the big breasted yound lady stading next to them, with a faint hope that she might give them perhaps a lustful second look)

And so I decided to join in. I guess my credibility commenced with my opening statement that I am from an IIM . Well ! Thank the media, word-of-mouth social groups, controversies, the proverbial 1 crore placement every year 😉 …that the brand strength of an IIM is still intact in educated minds, though not in the job market … lol !

I had to beg beyond the limits of  my “wrongly-supposedly-perceived to be intellectual” brain , for them to talk only in English.

One “i think” Marwari gentleman went off like .. “Because of lazy attitutde of bengalis and the non-progresive communist rule, the state is backward. The bueracratic chaps in the state are lazier, drink more, smoke more, gossip more, sleep more, shave less, perhaps scratch their bellies more , and SHAG more”  (how the f**k does he know ? :O  Anyway yes ! the word was used !!!)

By then we were at Chandni Chowk station! The Bong guy\’s stop. He said something whose duration and related expressions matched  Dharmendra’s “Main tera Khooon pee jaoonga”. Also, whose intention was apaprently like Arnold’s”I will be back” ! And I was getting excited to having been witness to a fight after a long time.And just when things were hating up, the belly-scratching Bengali went away.  Curse the immoral me\’s bad luck !

[Point to ponder: Like that episode in HIMYM where you suddenly start noticing people\’s mannerism\’s more, I saw that all Bengali looking people were periodically scratching bellies! Shit … its so yucky !!]

At MG.Road station, the Maru man was still there lecturing away on the backwardness of Bengal. And then came a 30-something Professor, a guy who was an exact replica of Sendhill RamaMurthy (the Mohinder Suresh  of the Heroes series) He was an urban Delhi-ite, the \”thought of to be cool people\” of India. And now the state-directed criticism was set to go ultimatum level.But this chap surprised me …he was unexpectedly not so anti-

The Maru gentleman was staring away to glory at the young girls who just boarded the train I guess to go back home from their colleges in College Street. He took a break from his eye-candy-seeing to butt in an occasional line about the communist rule, about the supposedly sweet-eating Bengali lazy folks, about the unethical rigging of polls in the state to ensure communist rule, about the use of excessive oil in food leading to excessive farting (he actually used the word \”Bengali farting\” :O …talk of being super-rude) , of the omnipotent stench of fish ,etc.,

We were reaching Dum Dum, the last stop . I was almost brain washed by our destroyer\’s speech. Then the Professor said suddenly, “We all criticise them … but say we are in delhi or mumbai or hyderabad or bangalore etc., can we enter an elite pub on a weekend for a Rs.700/- cover charge, drink imported drinks, dance away/ just sit watching the huge plasma screen TV at the lounge till 6 in the morning anywhere else in India other than Kolkata …!  Is there any other place where money is not as much  an incentive ….  and hence, there is no cut throat rat race and thus, more peace\”

I guess it does have its advantages.  The whole Bengal argumentation …. and that being a direct result of mentioning of one Indian pro-middle class concept,  low price!!!

Metro-Kolkatan epic: Pilot episode

For many days I wanted to travel in the metro the one in Kolkata. But never did it in 2 years. Thanks to the consistently persistent nagging of my fellow-con-man Mr.Mike Talman aka Chirag Desai 😛 , I mustered the audacity to defy my motion-sickness and travel by the metro …

And then there had been no looking back and the adventures began ,,,, So it begins the “metro” – kolkatan epic 🙂 , a saga of bufoonery, randomness and Bongland

[the (mis)adventures take off from next post…]

The fitness filler

This post is to be regarded as a filler cum social service … 😛

Anyway …

Among most sites siting claims to have good fitness tips I guess this is the most basic, simple to read and effective! So those who want to lose their tummy fat or gain some muscle on !!

There is a “loss of weight” link in the site which is applicable to both guys and girls. So have fun read on.

For those who can’t afford to spend time in the gym … here is  something claimed to be the world’s fastest workout …

Takes 4 min .. but it works well for weight loss 🙂

~Thank me later 😛

This might well be how Rankings should be done …

Thanks to the man famed as the Internet Lord of Joka … a more logically sensible way of ranking according to the education market’s Demand curves is presented 🙂

The Rest, I  leave it to you to follow this link ..

~TouchWood 🙂

Between the Gugni

I sat there outside the campus eating the egg bread gugni , an excellent dish for break fast.

I looked at it wondering how come it is so far better than the stuff we get inside the campus at double the price. And the thoughts flowed backwards …

The previous night was a grave yard shift without a wink of sleep. I remember myself running around the campus at Joka at 3 AM while most of the stud farmers (my wingies … majorly the only group left in the campus right now) were busy playing Poker over smokes.Lets go further back …

At my room, a bit drunk and seeing  War lords (chinese movie starring Jet Li)  And somehow , came to understand that all chinese periodicals depicting war, are directly related to one or more of the thirteen chapters of Sun Tzu’s Art of War ( I guess any mgmt. student  would love this book 🙂 ) Rewind karo …

I was at Magnolia in Park street drinking Old Monk (not much of a drinker. But couldn’t resist the sentiment. Behind the potentially last outing with the last few guys who stayed behind ). You go further back …

Scene shifts to Some place else …  widely regarded as the most popular bar in Kolkata. A group of two boys and three girls I guess is never a bad-ratio crowd in a bar. And that too in India 😛 . They were locals …non IIMians talking about their college festival starting on 13th. They seem to be living in a myth that IIMians are arrogant snobs always trying to show off their brand power.  And all it took to shatter their misnomers, was to be nice and friendly with them.   Lets move to an earlier part of the evening …

I was at tollygunj booking my local train ticket to park street.It was 7 stations away. The Kolkata metro is an awesomely well managed local train system. I would dare say, as good as the local train service in Singapore,  sans the Air conditioning  of course.  Kolkata metro should have been  allowed to develop beyond the limited number of areas it covers. Anyway, going further back ….

Coming to think of it, Kolkata does celebrate Holi well. Near the tollygunj station, preparations for a huge bon-fire were being made. Lots of bhang was being brought in. Across from shaker bazaar to Behala to TOllygunj I could see see such preparations in multitudes. I was vaguely, in a subtle way, happy to witness all these … Rewind by a couple of hours!

I sat there  in my room squabbling over the fact that the recession is a bad thing. But it also showed the IIMs that they are not Gods. That they too need to work hard. So in the end, it is a good thing that the economic crisis has occurred at this time for it is a lesson that life’s got no short cuts 🙂 Lets shift even further into the past …

I was talking to one of uncle’s friends , the head of Sandvik (Calcutta office). Though a big man, he is still in awe of an IIMian. So I guess the respect to the brand stays. As long as  expectations are not raised to God-level again  … lol. Rewind to the chronological start of this post …

I was eating the gugni with the boiled egg. Somehow i felt that, that evening,  I am in for  a clarifying introspective experience 🙂

~ HappyHoliToThoseWhoCelebrate