Of Malaysia, cow-piss and mustard oil …

DISCLAIMER: The following mail sent by a French friend  , to the author, is strictly a set of individual view points meant for humourous reading. No offence to the Indians or the Malays or the Chinese or the cows … 🙂

And so this is what the French dude who was on holiday in Malaysia , wrote :

1) “I’m quite sad to leave Penang, this very cosmopolitan city where Indians and Chinese never stopped to compete during these 3 days to get the award of craziness

I have to admit that the 2 cultures are doing very good. Indians are good and well known for their Ganesha stickers, disgusting Gods’ statues and movie posters that makes you want to puke. But we went a step forward !

So we have bought cow piss (“housing department” if you look for it at Spencer’s). We asked the guy what it was supposed to be used for and he just answered “it’s good for the house”

But after further researches on the Internet, we found out on a very serious website that cow piss also cures ALL the diseases, from migraine to AIDS!

But don’t worry, this is not the only weird thing that you find in Indian supermarkets. You can also buy mustard oil for babies (… hum … when a baby has its butt that becomes irritated, what’s better than mustard oil?(plus some chili powder also)), beard dyes for crazy old Indians and, most important, product packaging so beautiful that you couldn’t find anywhere else, not even in Afghanistan.

But the chineses are also very good competitors. Not talking about drunken grandmas who pee in the street in the evening and who offer us drinks and spoilt meat, we also bought a lot of very kitsch and disgusting decoration items for the Chinese new year. So We found these musical plastic candles that sing traditional Chinese music… great success !

Finally, I would say that the Indians win when it comes to creativity but the Chineses remain the masters of kitsch garbage decoration items… My next flat is gonna be amazing !


2) « Another advantage of Malaysia that I haven’t mentioned yet is that it’s a very cosmopolitan country. Hence, you have the opportunity to discover the kitsch and bad taste of each community, and particularly the TV soaps. And I have to acknowledge that the Indians are the ABSOLUTE MASTERS of them (and God knows how mediocre the Chinese or Malaysien TV soaps are). Nobody can act that badly, even the French humorist in their mockeries are better actors.

Talking about bollywood songs-

“If only the Malaysian could listen to music of such a good quality ! Here, the local radio seems more like the meowing of a cat whose tale is stuck in a bread toaster. I try to develop an expertise to be able to say when a song ends and the new one starts but it’s really tough, they are so similar!”

… And that folks is a mail from someone from the developed part of the world!

8 responses to “Of Malaysia, cow-piss and mustard oil …

  1. Racist! Kick his Le Arse when you meet him! 😛

  2. yep racist!!
    and yet they call themselves ‘liberal’ (are you fkin mocking me or yourself?)
    Its okay to be ‘gay’ or to be a ‘pornster’ or to be even a ‘Paris Hilton’, but no, you can not play chinese traditional music on plastic dolls….
    It’s ironical that in the developed world Kopi Luwak is a kuxury but cow-piss is piss 😀

  3. @ runner
    Apart from mocking around, thinking that cosmetics and kiddo style romance and shagging to pansy pop songs, do these chaps have anything more in life ? 😛

    And not to mention that they speak english like a an anceint rotting rusted gutter pipe is stuck in their nasal cavity 🙂

    ~In good ol’ joka style, no offence meants 😉

  4. ppl here wud disagree if u address ur french friend as having come from the ‘developed’ part of the world 😛

  5. “Chinese remain the masters of kitsch garbage decoration items”

    cant help but agree on this !

    But what the heck ..by reacting this way we are all being racist. So peace people 🙂

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