Monthly Archives: December 2009

Mindset of solitude

****

In a city of mechanical cold

Filled with true facts of old

About unending stuff on a platter

Like weekends, parties and babes

And all  a hedonist could behold


At an annual time of yearly vacations

When you strive on stuff of relations

Like a social being in all bliss

Surrounded by pals, allies and money

And the scorchers you could kiss ….


Yet he sits in a mind set of solitude

All seems immersed in platitude

To stare, frown  and shrink in darkness

Wouldn’t care  if gobbled by a lochness

The only feeling is cold … heavy … numbness

****

Its pretty obvious that the idle mind is the devil’s workshop. So said dad during the holidays at home.

So said the legendary El Papa , the flat mate of mine in Mumbai.

The author doesn’t really understand whether its any evil or bad-guy allusion in particular. But the thought flow in fursat (idle state) is certainly chaotic

Anyway, Christmas hols are here and I am stumped with a 3 day long weekend. One does live  weekdays wondering about the relaxing long weekend one would have at the turn of the week. But yet, when it arrives you have no idea what to do other than sleep and eat. And yeah! The thoughts flow uninterrupted by day to day phenomena …

Throw in flat mates going away for the weekend and you are stuck in your huge 3 bedroom apartment all for yourself. Its an amusing kick, the thought that goes the Culkin way , “The guys left me home alone” . Freedom ..pristine, invisible and unaccountable! But yet , the kick is temporary and gets overshadowed by thoughts. Just thoughts …old thoughts which one usually tries to subdue with the weight of your job, your businesses, and living through the present day deliverables.

I wonder if something like The last solace in a Universe of Chaos exists. A romantic would impulsively say that the panacea to this requirement is love! But borrowing from good ol’ Al Pacino from the Devil’s advocate , Insipid! The same sensation that occurs as an equivalent to consuming a buxom quantity of dark chocolate ….

So good ol’ Pacino suggests a substitute that is way cheaper and free of baggage.So I actually tried chocolate and ice cream while watching TV. Nopes! Didn’t really work. The claustrophobia and the solitude persisted. That reminds me of good ol’  Sam , an old friend from IIM-C.

With Sam, I worked out this concept of bliss in solitude . But I guess besides  the kick of a soundingly, apparently , theoritically peaceful approach, it didn’t really work. Perhaps because I am not into being a lone ascetic yet 😉 Or perhaps because all these days, I have been lonely anyway, irrespective of people always being there around me.

So its not even physical solitude that seems to be the problem. Just the thought coming up since I have the time to let it come up for these 3 days. The thought that I have been living  in a mind set of solitude, either dormant or active. all along

I shall then,pump up at the gym a bit, do my twilight jog,  dress up in my funkiest way to date,  and hit the city after the Sun goes down.

Is there such a thing as the last solace in a Universe of Chaos .  . Lets see, wonder and hope an answer comes …

yours truly,

still the dark,fast and fiery,

Ghost Runner

Advertisements