Brighthelmstone chronicles

Preface

It is pretty damp to see how a pattern oriented work life changes the way you look, prioritize and do things

For instance, my blogging which has over the years been a pride of mine (not that I got an award or monetary reward for the content in it, but speaking more from a posterity/ cherishing memories’ and thoughts’ point of view) Not that I had no stuff to write oF. I did. But just that I postponed the documenting (notice how I instinctively use “documenting” and not “writing” … work-lingo by-product! Phew ! ) Or alternatively, just thought of it as a pastime that is nice to have, but can be back-seated in the shadow of better things to do! (Not that I have really done anything better though .. )

Anyway sorry for digressing like an aimless dilettante. The idea here is to talk about my Business trip to Brighton in the United Kingdom (UK)

Brighthelmstone

If the wonderful ‘reader’ (this can be anyone or just me in the distant future … hmm I am thinking Donnie Darko ish stuff now! Before I digress again, I will park that thought and get back to Brighton) put in so much dedicated effort 😛 to actually look it up, you would know that the ancient name of this touristic city is “Brighthelmstone” which I guess, justifies the title, haha ! I just find this name more conducive to sometimes-megalomanics like myself ! (Dont blame me for this! Grew up on RajniKanth )

I have been here for quite some time

I have been here before in September and October but owing to the same reason as mentioned in the Preface above, I didn’t muster enough enthusiasm to document this (Oh no! Not “Document” again ) . Also, owing to the whole micro-blogging revolution, my updates have been going very well with Twitter and Facebook, but just not with the self-fulfilling openness of writing in your own blog

Weather

It can get cold here.The Southern English climate is, as anyone might have already guessed, unpredictable. When it rains during a climatic temperature of 3 degree Celcius , it feels like “icicles shot at your face with a machine gun” (Ok! This catchphrase is now officially my most often-used metaphor this month!)

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I was a person who kept complaining about the heat in India and was not used to temperatures less than 16 degree Celcius (Hyderabadi winter! Yes! Thats all it goes down to) Living here for a brief period has given me a life-long enlightening feeling about seeing the Sun. So when there is Sun here this time of the year, the feeling is of relief, pure and pristine. But of course it does not last long and folks go back to weather-induced-depressive-moods again.

But then of course, humankind has always found means to fight negative mindsets. The highly tentaive depressive mood is perhaps what drives people here to “get a life” rather than give in to “hibernating under your blankets and eating lots of cheese” . People make it a point to socialize more and also do more sport. Party and Get exercise! Now thats what I am talking about … (now by exercise, I dont mean “go all Arnold”, even walking on a Sunday instead of taking a taxi is exercise by my book)

London

Now talking of weather reminds me of one thing …

my ordeal on November 10th

! I wanted to go catch the Manchester-Arsenal match ( Dont be impressed! I didnt get tickets, plan was to see it with a friend of mine in a sports bar near London Bridge ) But then North-bound trains from Brighton to London were down due to bad weather . Boy ! Was I peeved …

Anyway, I have been to London in October though. Thanks to these two (Akshay and Manasi) I had a fantastic time. God bless them!

Hey did I say God ! Its a coincidence ( would not like calling it Providence ) that I saw the fantastic movie “Rush” in England (considering its got a British central character … played by Chris Hemsworth ..yeah! Thor goes F1-driving!)

The book

Talking of providence reminds me of this book

In times like these ( read, all outdoor plans failing due to bad weather …yes! the November 10th ordeal again ! ) , I have been reading this book. The book obviously champions atheism . As tempted to speak of it as I am now, I will save this for another day. Hmm.. do I hear the faithful taking out their chain-saws to judge that post? 🙂 Yes yes ! The time will come …

Food

Now lets talk of food ..not unlike the rest of England, there is the famous “fish and chips” which I somehow am not a big fan of

I did try it once but was not particularly thrilled about it. Its just fried fish and a bad version of quickly fried potato. Perhaps its notoriety comes from the fact that it is warm fried food that can be instantly made. A sort of quick-fix and filling solution to a hungry stomach in cold English weather ..hmm … fair enough !

Talking of food takes me back to the November 10th ordeal. I had to compensate myself for the frustration of missing hanging out with pals because of no trains due to rains. I got myself a mammoth treat to please myself. Well ! At least one good thing is that you can get everything in a TESCO store from canned alcohol to quick-fix-takeaway food (yes even hot food) By the way, unless you do some sort of responsible recreational calorie burning, do not try this level of junk-snacking at home 😛

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(to be continued … )

The Teacher’s day Rhapsody

FOREWORD: Extracts from a fictitious letter to a non-fictitious P.T teacher (Instructor- Physical education) whose non-fictitious story has been blown up to semi-fictitious extravaganza

STATUTORY WARNING: Neither for the faint hearted nor the rigidly moral

x-x-x-x-x–x-x-x-x

Dear ‘My fav P.T.Teacher’,

Hello sir! In case you are wondering who this little chump (as you used to call your victims, I mean, students) is …I was your student from Niraj Public School, Ameerpet, Hyderabad in 1999 J

You have always been the eccentric one among all my teachers. You took great pleasure in making us kneel down for not doing jumping jacks properly. And how would the then thunder thighed, mammoth waisted, sumo bellied, chubby little me gain the stamina or the buoyancy to do a jumping jack, that too with jumping! My wonderful ma (God bless her! She was my real teacher, unlike some of the power-hungry, kid-torturing, flattery-loving, wannabe-capitalistic fuck-ups & losers who masquerade as teachers in wealthy private schools) used to make me delicious pesarattu for breakfast every Friday, the same day of the week which started off with your sadistic P.T.session! Sadly, after your P.T.sessions, I always ended up puking the slimy sickly mutilated mutated version of a once delicious pesarattu. Often have I harbored the fear that I would die asphyxiated in my own vomit, ala Led Zeppelin’s John Bonham

I mean, I had no problem with the constructive intentions behind PT. sessions, but it is not cool to megalomaniacally metamorphosize them into your own fat boy victimizing, bum-whacking, under-the-hot-sun-kneel-down-punishmenting episode of grandomaniacal torture.  I have a theory that perhaps, in your later years, after you left our school, you became a Catholic priest, joined the Vatican pedophile community and the rest is history. So what you could not do at our school owing to India being a conservative country that is protective of kids, you finally did abroad in a romantic place like Rome!!

Aaah ! That gets me to the point . You didn’t leave our school but got thrown out of it 😀 And  I am sure you often wondered why ! It was ME ! It was ME..the then thunder thighed, mammoth waisted, sumo bellied, chubby little ME! Muhahaha! Now the truth is out. Let me tell you what I did during the teacher’s day of 1999.

As you might be remembering, high school students dressed up like teachers to take classes for the primary and middle school kids on Teacher’s day at school . I dressed like you, stuck a fake moustache similar to yours, walked like you and talked like you! Then I went to the nearest 4^th grade class room and scared the hell out of the kids. I took a couple of  finger-sucking-after-nose-picking-after-ass-fingering    brats and fist-hammered the mud-eating-filthy-toothed-hell   out of them. And then I disappeared for the day.

The next day, their parents as you might remember, complained! You were screwed then.  Because the finger-sucking-after-nose-picking-after-ass-fingering   brats whom I fist-hammered the mud-eating-filthy-toothed-hell   out of, said that the senior was imitating your mannerisms. So the principle forgot about that episode and looked at the bigger and more threatening possibility of “your violent influence” on the high school teenage students. Oh! The day you were thrown out, I must have bakery-partied enough to add at least an inch each on my then thunder thighs, sumo-belly and mammoth waist J

That was the day I first felt like a boy finally on track to becoming a man ready to fend for himself. I for the first time believed that I was capable of innovative strategy 😉 Thank you for being the root-cause.

For that, I am gifting you with the truth behind your expulsion. No one but me knew this because I was quite low-profile at school. No one ever suspected me. In case you are reading this, you by now realized who I am. You are possibly working yourself up into a pissed-off state. To catch me and whack the monkey-crap out of me would be your next dream so to speak of possibilities.

But … you should understand that I did shed some kilos and pack a tad bit of appreciative muscle in the last 12 years. And did manage to learn a bit of taekwondo, karate, muay-thai   and  Ji-jitsu to name a few.  So it would probably not be a good idea to fight me in your now senile years 😉

Thank you once again,

Yours truly,

The dark, the fast, the fiery, the one and only,

~Ghost Runner

The one on irony, clapping and ‘happy’ness

FOREWORD: A true story ….

It was a boring session on a boring Wednesday afternoon at school for the 9 yr old in 5th grade / 5th standard .

The kid looked up at the wall clock in the classroom. It was almost time for the growth period (or GP in short). It was his favourite period. He hardly played sports, being a tad weaker physically than the other kids (He would, in later years take to the gym ,but thats a different story 😉 ) . He found the academic sessions, the pottery classes, the drawing period, the music classes very much sleep-inducing. Since he found them all obligations thrown at him  exactly when he was not in the mood for them.

But the GP was the good one. He had basically nothing to do but just  random things which were quite different every week.

That time around, there was this weird guru coming in as a guest and the topic was ‘exercises of happiness‘. Since it was an external special guest, the headmistress would be there too along with the class teacher.

So it started. The guru started singing …

If you are happy and you know it clap your hands …

(everyone claps twice in rythm)

If you are happy and you know it clap your hands ….

(everyone claps twice in rythm again)

if you are happy and you know it and you really want to join, if you are happy and you know it clap your hands

(the claps get louder)

The kid was enjoying it! Just one difference from the rest. The random dual-clapping reminded him of what hijras in India  do as a trademark act.Mind you! He never had anything of a derogatory opinion about the hijras, but he just found that particular GP exercise ridiculously funny.

So everytime the other kids clapped, he just  laughed his a** off . Just because it was funny.

After the GP, he was called to the principal’s office . What followed was the principal thrashing his  a** off for laughing his a** off !

To this day I wonder! In that clapping moment, the 9 year old ( who you might have guessed was yours truly)  was actually happier  laughing than the other kids clapping …

Well ! A complete objective mismatch from the principal and headmistress’ side! Such was the irony that day 😦

😛

The week gone by …

Very well !! I landed in Hyd. , turned to my Joka frnd and said , “Isn’t the weather awesome? ”  So thanks to the infinitely sweat-inducing weather of Kolkata , the Hyderabad weather appeared like jannat 

Anyway it was good to be back home. You have aunties,uncles,other relatives and even their dogs treating you like some kind of dude 😛 (couldn’t think of a simpler term 😛 ) 

Went to the Gachibowli campus,pals’ rooms et al. It was fun cathcing up 😉

Remaining holidays spent in hanging out with the oh-so-amusing Venni-Sunni  combination!

AJ  is still in hyper-depression mode courtsey his break-up with his ex-gf ,one and a half year ago.Shucks! Nothing as gullible as a egoistical fellow in love 😐 (This single published line will trigger all hell to break loose … my farewell gift to hyderabad ..oh boy! I can get prettty dark-sided at times )

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ps : 230000 candidates appearing for CAT 2007 , 40000 more than last time .

ps1 : Wonder why  the Sensex is acting like its on steroids ???

ps2:  In the future , farmers might create their own SEZs :O

ps3 : Gosh! Why am I getting this stuff in my PSes !

ps4 :  The place where I left my soul  still has my soul ! 

ps4.5 : This is PS no. 4.5 !!

ps5 : I will be back inthe IIM-C  campus by tomorrow’s afternoon , back to the grinding process !

ps6 : The Last PS from Hyderabad

The Fight Club Phantom

Long long ago in IIITian land when the Sun burnt at its brightest red (no I dont mean it  became a    Red Giant ,I only mean the summer months) , the violent dimension of the now-non-existent dark side reached an  acme of sorts!

Then as they say, when u r at the peak  the only way left to go is down , the dark side perished due to a strong self-positive-twist  scheme 😉

The previous night , GV (an old school pal) called after  a oh-so-long time.He was shouting in the phone bugeoning his sissy vocal cords to the terminal limit.

He went like .. ” Orey Baba! The KR guy is at it again.He’s spreading rumours about me.I am not going to spare him.Since my dad is a contractor , I will get a full labour force and get his a** whipped .”

“So what shoud i do,dumbass ? ”

“You are on my side, right ? ”

“Anna..chill!! I am not taking sides.I am just staying away from ur senseless misadventures!”

“Rei baba ..why r you of all the people …” (he laid stress on “you” ..blast!!!)
“Shut aaaap” and I hung the phone.

That is the uncoveted problem that arises when you TRY to do a “bad-to-good” or “hooligan-to-shareef ” metamorphosis.Oh boy! Whatever ……

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Verse of the day :

The devils of the past

How long will they last 

When’ll I at the least

Get to see Odin’s feast ??

– abbulugadu

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ps : Always nursed an ambition  to lay the mighty ol’ smackdown on SJ bhai!!

ps1 :  Similarly, Maaams (for ppl who dont know him , Sriram) nurses a dream of beating me up before graduation.

ps2  : Suggu is working out in the gym these days 🙂 Guess IIIT is all set for a Hrithik Roshan like transformation 😀

Illusory Face-off at KBR

..So i finally get to write about this shit !

It all started in a teeny weeny manner on orkut.Dont exactly remember the origins but It started with Anu,Rohit n karthik coming up with a nice little rebuking routine that soon went to an ass-f***ed hay-wire state.

N eventually Karthik came up with a reallly innovative but objectionable (to some including me ..but that objection classifies as “subjective” )statement which he wrote in rohit’s scrap book …something that makes a mention of “a licking three some ” ..n that set off the trigger for a putatively bizzare turn of events :O

U see

1. names weren’t mentioned
2. Karthik wrote the contro-scrap in rohit’s
3. Seemed like a lil’ none-of-anyone’s-business conv. to me.(though it was under public view)

But the dude ,Aj (the guy whose lady is being supported by Anu ..as far as I can decipher from this low-life situation) ended up with a notion that his lady was being mentioned in the comment (In fact it was her being mentioned but fingers cant be pointed)

So another round of events follow n what shit do I see ?

A “bloody face -off ” is planned at KBR park (of all paces whoseever it was ..he’s got a brain the size of a microcopic widget ..yaar there are patrols at that area man )

So me being the guy who’s soooo much into this “dhishum dhishum” concept go to KBR park (inspite of having exams a couple of days later ; also this “urge” amplified by a fact that some anonymous crap-hole called me telling me that Karthik’s getting pro-goondas !!)

b ut u know what ? Nothing happened ! Kapil,Ravi were there too.Karthik and Aj shout,argue and in the end ,Aj apologised (why the fuck did he apologise ?? Since he’s the fellow who wanted justice !!Thats not standing up to a lady’s cause ..i.e., if there is a cause)

But the fellow,Anu was nowhere .He was the one who provoked Karthik by informing him that Aj wanted to beat Karthik up.So Karthik got his friends along for the show.Aj had a bunch of his pals too ..one of who had a knife ..or a dagger to be more precise :O

..Now thats crap man ! Anyway I dont understand why a fellow who was so desperate to prove a point (Aj) was so softened up after sometime.
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Abbulu ‘s takes :

@ Aj ,
Whoa! Now dont get me wrong.Aj’s always been my best frnd. I dont know whether his act was good or baad .But one thing for sure .If he wanted a talk-n-extract-an-apology-routine ,y does he want to waste time by clamouring for a no-show build up.If he wanted to prove a point or demand an apology from Karthik , then he should finish the job !

@ Karthik ,
You were at least a little worried man ! But then your orcut reprisals the next made u look like a guy who’s desperately protecting his prestige . (People ont have “PRESTIGE” at the age of 20 ..its just a stoooopid hallucination)

@Anu,
Well! Anu looks like the fellow who fuels things up n then sings Metallica’s “Then Its time I disappear ” .By the way why was he more concerned about Aj’s lady than good ol’ Aj himself.

@ Rohit ,
Arey anna! Why do you judge people ? Other than doing literarystuff n acads , have u ever been involved in such stuff ? At least Karthik’s better in dealing with fellows neutral in this situation.
Anyway,thats my opinion only.It can be understood that u r taking karthik’s side.

@Ravi,kapil,vijay :
Why were u even there ? (Of course I shud be asking myself the same question)

@ all my frnz.(in fact knew 90% of the fellows there )whom I accidently met at the incident venue 🙂
At least the fact of the matter was that I got to meet u guys after a long time 🙂 So some good came out of the whole affair.
YES! some of you guys dont even know what a real face-off or gang-war or RANAM is ….. (I said “some” … some might know it too)No hard feelings though “chotus”… only telling you that urs truly is available to render some advice 😉

@ myself :
Doing the right thing by not including this in either the “dark-side” or “machismo” category ‘coz there was only hype here , no real stuff .
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ps : Yesterday,the final BTP viva for this sem went well.My project partner,Amit was celebrating after the viva.Wishing him a happy journey home.Finally the guy gets to sleep peacefully for a few days 🙂

ps1 : The next one is the one on “FIGHT CLUB”

ps2 : Updated my homepage to a more professional look (albeit it retains its non-snobbish simplicity)

ps3: Mom spotted this supposedly cool range of clothes for me somewhere.So wants to take me shopping when I return home! Ok..that sounds pretty nice ..but dont want the “Dasara bullodu” model of clothes .