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Day 7 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket (break and shake )

28 June

Act 7 Scene 1 – BJJ

It was another 2 Hr  session of Brazilian Ji Jitsu. Coming to think of it, it was invented so the smaller opponent in a fight can handle the bigger stronger opponent. But what if as Kuchili Byakuya said “the difference in power level is so vast ..” that BJJ doesn’t help ? Before  bothering myself with more such thoughts, I figured that to achieve triumph in a fight or to defend oneself, folks evolve in different ways which increases an overall score. For some it’s raw strength, for some it’s speed, for some it’s technique. Developing along only one parameter doesn’t guarantee triumph. It’s only when you evolve across all with sheer grit and training will your likelihood increase. Haha I have a three dimensional matrix manifesting in my head already to make such an assessment or gauge.

Anyhoo, this BJJ session was brutal, for the lack of a better word. Owing to my relatively not-so-good flexibility I totally sucked at the drills where you are supposed to do back and front rolls. Maybe I should take up yoga too to increase flexibility…hmmm.

Then it was time to roll (sparring in BJJ) I was up against a Croatian national team member who knew better than to go easy on me considering he was a pro and I am not. But guess he did see me being adept at the techniques, so as they say Gazab  ke ladai hua .

In my head, the Asura was at a stage of activation at will. Musou T ..not so much. Cro-champ tried hard to get the armbar from various angles and combinations , even succeeded in extending and straining my arm quite a bit. However, he couldn’t succeed in locking in the arm bar and getting me to tap. And I couldn’t get him in my by-then-notorious guillotine or kimura . Guess that could be called a respectable draw. All respect to cro-champ, wish I could train with tough guys like that more often.

Act  7 Scene 2 -Ambush 360

This was another crossfit session for nearly an hour  similar to the other fitness sessions of previous posts of high intensity and crydom-inducing breathlessness. 

So the routine (post stretching, warmups, etc) was 150 push ups followed by 130 heavy-kettlebell swings followed by 120 crunches followed by 100 weighted squats followed by 40 burpees. And this whole routine preceded and succeeded by two sprints around the whole training camp in afternoon heat and sun. Finished it in 22 minutes, on top of the 27 member advanced class with an average finish of 26 minutes.

So the mind and the channelling of aggression apart, my body had probably gotten used to the rigmarole of the whole camp. 

Probably  that physio-mental synchronization lead to the next mental realization that I experienced for the first time in the camp till then.  I felt the Asura bellow like before . But then, I felt something else. No it wasn’t the recent pain in 2017 accumulating a sorrow , thus triggering the release of Muso Tensei. It was different. The sorrow was not at what happened but at what had become of me. I had read somewhere that anger drained you , and this very draining as a post-phase of Asura mode (post routine js understandable, but midway ? The vagaries of the human mind ..sigh !!) perhaps created a mental vacuum for Muso Tensei, a painless numbness-filled shutting out of pain. Self pity , was it ? Sounds a bit ignoble ! But nonetheless, whatever mental trick worked. I experienced Muso T , midway in the Ambush routine. There was no longer any pain.

Act 7 Scene 3

I rested, even had a siesta in the afternoon. Muso Tensei or what mental state I thought was Muso Tensei manifested an atmosphere of  eerie calm inside my head. I could not put a finger on it to describe exactly what it had felt like. Anyhow …

I went to the gym in  the evening to do some good old fashioned weight training. Did a composite body workout and went to my room happy, content and tired. I was somehow at peace that evening which was amusing. However, Muso T was still unfathomable , I could not replicate that triggering- feeling for Muso T like I could  for Asura. Well … one last day to go.

Yours truly,

The dark, the fast and the fiery, 

Ghost R

Day 6 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket ( Silence )

June 27

The camp was closed on Sunday. Just walked down to Massi’s Sports bar down the MMA camp road to watch the Macgregor-Mayweather fight at around 11 ish (the fight was actually on the night of  26 August in Nevada, hence 27 morning in Thailand). May won as expected but Mac surprisingly gave a fight and the final stoppage by the referee didn’t exactly speak of a thumping massacre-level victory for May as some wanted or expected it to be.

Anyway, I later went for a moderate-intensity  run just to keep my cardio going and not laze around all day on a rest day. It was slightly drizzling so I had a Wind-sheeter on. As I ran, I reflected on the week gone past. It was a good week, the Asura mindset and the mental trick of tapping into the anger -emotion seemed to be working as initially aspired. However, the mind had been found wanting on the Muso T department. I wondered if it would be achieved before this trip ended. Then I went onto other thoughts and let them flow.

Sleeping-patterns wise, I believe mid days on weekends the world over classify as early mornings (unless by logic, you are in a war zone of course, where you probably need to wake up and keep your cross hair in eye view while taking a dump. Respect to such flawleess courage and primordial alacrity despite the seemingly vulnerable position , Jai Jawan).

 Anyway for the sleeping-patterns reason stated supra, the roads were empty. The rain seemed to ensure it stayed that way for a little longer during the day. I ran, lost in my thoughts about the missus, current joys, current sorrow and current anger in absolutely stunning silence sans the sound of the continuous barrage of torrential rain drops hitting the roads of Soi Taied.
Yours truly,

Still dark, still fast and involuntarily fiery,

Ghost Runner

Day 5 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket (BBQ Beatdown)

So every last Saturday of the month the tiger Muay Thai camp hosts a barbecue buffet party to reward the camp trainees for all their hard work.

Sort of a train hard fight hard party hard concept. In corporate terms, one could also call it incentivisation. Where you actually feel that you more than deserve to party ..where you feel like you have earned it for all the hard work

There was a textbook Muay Thai ritual in the ring by the exhibition fighters post which there were friendlies . Which is to say the fights weren’t part of a tournament like I expected of something called a Beatdown .But that’s probably me speaking from the hungover perception created from watching Never Back Down . Anyway, the fights were entertaining , the food was in surplus , delicious and there was beer. Good relaxing evening.

Days 3 & 4 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket ( the thin line between catharsis and achieving painlessness)

June 24

Act 3 Scene 1 – The Grind

The Grind was another crossfit routine that focused on motor-muscles and  conditioning required for high-intensity physical acts. It was just for 30 minutes but highly intense, starting off with extensive stretching followed by a quick sprint around camp (roughly 800 m , equal to twice  the track distance of a standard stadium) . Then came Kettlebell swings with a pretty heavy Kettlebell followed by squats with the same Kettlebell. This was followed by heavy-ball heaves and bouncing them off the mat. And this is one superset with barely anytime to recover between exercises. Three sets in all. I managed to finish it in time. From my personal viewpoint, not really Asura mode stuff but decent enough to burn some fat, energy, get ypur heart rate go bonkers and get a good dose of endorphin-release. 

Act 3 Scene 2 – Beast Lower Body

We did the front squats with optimal posture and technique . Keeping the elbows up was the most challenging factor to maintain form.

Since I barely did the front squats before in my life till then, it was a good learning. Going Asura in the head again helped in finishing strong during the heavier weighted squats. Managed to front- squat upto my body weight of 80 kilos. I did want to go higher, but the wise Coach asked me not to since it was my first time. But surely, in maybe a few weeks. Vowed to make it part of my regular workout routine back home.

I slowly began to realize at this stage  that the Asura mode had been tapped but was in the process of being  constructively regulated too. So that this mental mode of anger doesn’t push me beyond my physical breaking points. Thanks to the timely advice of the instructors, the Asura was being regulated to achieve a state of mental equilibrium with the ability still intact, to decide when to pull the trigger and when not to. 

Act 3 Scene 3 – Crossfit (Snatches)

We trained on the right posture and technique of doing snatches. Easy peasy … quite used to it. No sweat though. Thanks to the blessed lion’s den – driven conditioning back home.

x – x – x – x – x

June 25 (Day 4)

Act 4 Scene 1 – MMA Sparring

In this session, I sparred all three rounds in MMA rules with an Aussie giant, the biggest tough guy (not necessarily the best fighter in camp but definitely the biggest) . He was like about a massive 120 kilos at 6’5 to my relatively meagre 80 kilo frame. And he moved fast, though I wouldn’t say much about his stamina or endurance levels. Going all out Asura at 100% aggression might just tip him off to murder me. Haha. All said and done, I didn’t want to take that risk.Maybe I should have. I dont know. Even if I did, is venting out a justification for suicide? (Or perhaps, was I overestimating  him? ) It’s practice after all. What was I trying to prove ? 

The infinite phantasmagoria of rabid thoughts apart, I decided to focus on it like it was what it was …a sparring session and not an all-out war. And so did the giant. He did take me down thrice in three rounds. Managed even a full mount on me where his brutal size and power just tore apart my jijitsu. On the other hand, I did manage to outpace him several times and landed decent shin-kicks on his colossal outer thighs. It was a good sparring match. 

Lets just say , if it had been a real octagon fight with MMA rules, I would convincingly and devastatingly lose but not without giving a fight in 100% Asura mode (not that I being a middleweight would ever really get into a fight with a super-heavyweight ..haha). If it had been just a kick boxing match, I might just scrape away a victory on points if I managed to stay out of his reach by maintaining a faster pace. To my satisfaction, I managed to set the pace and at the end of the session I respectfully/ fearfully bowed and  walked over to the next session while he was lying there panting. Guess size did come with both pros and cons.In reflection, if it hadn’t been for the Asura mode , I wouldn’t even dare to spar with someone so huge.

Act 4 Scene 2 -Beast Upper Body 

This one was by far the toughest crossfit exercise within the purview of yhis post, i.e., Days 3 and 4 . 

Each person has to finish three sets of three  “stations”  of workouts, each station being at a different spot of the workout area. A station constituted a superset of three exercises.

Station A started with Ketllebell standups starting from the lying-down position to raising onto one shoulder to elbow to palm and back the same way. Then, repeat for the other hand.After that, rope climbs followed by  lat-flies in a squatted position. 

Station B started with lying on each side by turns and working the rotator cuff muscles on the raised  shoulder with a dumbbell or weigted-disc. The rest I totally dont remember . I was pretty much in a daze at that point just working through the instructor’s instructions.

Station C was that exercise that involved making waves with the heavy rope. Reminded me of Brock Lesnar’s caveman workout. Can Muso T be utilised effectively in combat too, since that was after all my prerogative ?I didn’t know yet , perhaps …
Act 4 Scene 3 – Muay Thai 

I was kicked out of the beginners’ class. No please do not get me wrong, the instructor within 10 minutes of observing during warmups , decided I would get more incremental value in the higher levels (Intermediate or Advanced classes, happening simultaneously at different areas of the camp ) Ergo I walked over to the Intermediate (not knowing how Advanced the fellow trainees in the Advanced class would be, and still going there would not be so smart)

Anyway the drills constituted practising posture and stances (This segment is common across basic , Intermediate and Advanced classes . One can infer that no matter what the stage of Evolution the fundamentals needed to be constantly practiced and hence sharpened) . That followed by a bit of shadow Muay Thai where one threw punches, kicks, knees and elbows in various variations  and combos. Then followed the same thing on the heavy bags and then with each trainer doing the same with a Coaching assistant allotted to him or her. And then, as Bruce Buffer would say, The moment we all had been waiting for, its time !  Sparring was the last segment.

I went three rounds of Muay Thai in the ring one each with a different fellow-trainee. My first round was with an Indian-origin man born and raised in Germany. I would later know that he was a PhD from Stanford …impressive ! Anyway this gent was really keen not to fight, so apart from a playful jab now and then and the odd tag-style shin kick sans force, we had to make do.

 The second set of 5 minutes was when it got interesting. I was paired with one Irish Canadian dude called Jack (or Zach, didn’t mind asking him the spelling) who was unlike the soft hearted Jack from Titanic. He was a couple of inches shy of my height and hence reach, but that didn’t deter him. Those 5 minutes reminded me of the second fight (although at a far lower level of expertise ) between Daniel “DC” Cormier and Jon “Bones” Jones. Like DC he tried to move in and tried to force the swinging left hook through my guard . It a perversely correlated way, the earlier training of keeping the elbows up while doing the front squat sort of helped me push my elbows up quickly whenever the faux-DC threw a jumping swinging left hook. And then anyway, suddenly, that thing in the belly started. The Asura bellowed and I found myself countering his swinging left  hooks with superman punches of my own ( now the superman punch from an orthodox stance, for those not aware is when one fakes a right shin kick but instead uses the same leg to push the air back, jump a bit, say 30 degrees to the right and land a gun shot right straight! This move does take a lot of energy out and the intermediate jump needs to be optimized for less energy consumption, not too high. And vice verse if starting from a left shin-feint). Anyhoo, after a quarter-dozen of those counters , the Irish Canadian was a tad flustered and became impatient. That’s when I should have had blocked to let him spend his energy in unstructured low impact strikes. But guess I was over-excited with the offensive with the whole Asura mode going on in the head and failed to approach the obvious strategy . So he rushed and managed to land a pretty nasty right shin-kick on my left thigh. It stung and the physical skin of my left outer thigh cried out with a sensation that threatened to counter the angry cry of the Asura in my head. But in a manner devoid of my active consciousness, the Asura went beserk to counter that pain. I reflexively clinched and landed knees to his ribs , an old technique of Muay Thai that I was taught in 2011 by the good ol’ Shafiq ur Rehman of Mumbai (my first MMA coach) . In hindsight, I realized the Asura hit 100% power for those few seconds. The Irish-Canadian was not backing off either, he went all punchy-punchy on my face though the padded practice-gloves did dull the impact, unlike my naked knees on his ribs. That’s when the Coach ended the round since it was only practice.  Jack looked at me and said “Respect brother ! I am training with you everyday mate ”   Without thinking, I folded my hands and bowed . Guess I won a buddy, his respect and a very good sparring partner. Perhaps we can goto the Advanced session next time, before the Intermediate coach throws us out that is.

The third round was with a Frenchman, Mohd.  Who seemed to be a big fan of the God of War 4 videogame. He sported the exact look of Kratos from the game. Anyway he was maybe a weight class lower than me and half a foot shorter. So as belligerent as he was , I had to keep the Asura mode from the previous round in check so I don’t unnecessarily injure him in what anyway was an unfair contest. He did end up getting caught by a couple of my right shins on his ribs though , when he tried throwing over-zealous straight-crosses at my already-angry self . The rest of the round went harmlessly with me keeping him at a distance with straight left jabs and making a looming threat of a right handed Haymaker  all too apparent  by visibly shaking, almost vibrating right fist (a haymaker is a looping punch with all the momentum of the body , high energy-consuming move but generally has Knockout power ). The round ended and I was glad the jabs were enough in keeping him away . Had he closed in, the haymaker would have had knocked him out. And then the Coach would have had hit me with a cane for going all out in practice. Haha. I shook hands with Mohd., and then went my way.


As I walked away from camp that day, I realised that I did vent out substantially the whole day. The emotional trauma I was channling out as anger, was still there becoming by then a subconscious state of mind rather than a conscious feeling. Does that mean the Asura mode was fading ? Or alternatively ,  does that mean it was transitioning from an outburst to a more controlled state of mind that could be evoked at will ? I didn’t know the answer on where this catharsis was heading to. It was serving well in the offence for the time being.

Muso Tensei (only the mindset part, channelling sorrow to a self-convincing state of no pain), this was not obtained yet. That made me question whether the root cause of my this endeavour was a cause for sorrow at all. To be able to actually channel it towards achieving a state of numbness. And what does numbness from pain achieve?  Better conditioning so as not to back down from physical exertion or fear of another punch from the opponent, is what I would like to believe. Does that lead to Better defence? I didn’t know then. Only time would tell.

Yours truly,

The dark the fast and the fiery,

Ghost Runner

Day 2 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket ( the physical limitations of mentally channelling anger )

June 23

Act 2 Scene 1 – Brazilian Ji Jitsu

For the unaware , BJJ is a submission-style grappling-based martial art. 

This  nearly- 2hour session was intense as can be expected by those who attended at least one jujitsu class in their time. 

Anyway I put myself in the estimation of my head at maybe 80 % of my full power during rolling (BJJ sparring is called rolling too). Well …I got really big opponents (the first sparring partner was big and powerful. The second sparring partner was not as big but bigger then moi.  )  during the sparring sessions and they were versed with BJJ. Not to mention their strength-wise uncompromisingly superior diet compared to the one a middle class Indian like me is used to . There I said it.  

So perhaps it was so that this existing variable of monstrous physical strength could only be countered by a mental factor of being in a self procolaimed Asura mode . Haha and I was in it. Both the guys tapped out eventually . The first one to the Kimura which I am evolving to be quite decent at and the second to the triangle, first time I succcesfully threw one from my back. But not before both of them succeeded significantly in cumulatively cranking my neck ( Both the gents went for the reverse neck crank in the earlier stages of the sparring rounds and almost got it right . Coincidence. )

Though there was years-worth of  training here and a lot of work on physical conditioning , I would still hand it over to the Asura mode, that was described in the last para of the previous post. It was anger I felt, a wailing rage (built up thinking, reminiscing of the emotional pain of 2017, a factor all too numerously mentioned by now) if there ever was such a thing.  And directed regulatorily at my sparring partners. Thank goodness for their physical prowess and monstrous conditioning , they weren’t too hurt. 

Allow me to digress a bit.Nutritionally  speaking, European food is better than Indian food. Period. In this story, if I was in their shoes (meaning I was just sparring because I wanted to learn) and they in mine (meaning they were the angry ones), if they applied the submissions I applied to them, their strength would have not only made the submissions more effective,  would have not only have made me tap out quicker, but I would be in a Thai hospital in Phuket wondering if my travel insurance would work. Anyway, the gastronomic and nutritional value, especially in terms of building strength and power, of proper European food is thuderously superior to Indian. Oh ..I said it already. Apologies!  ( By the way I still love Indian more. For the taste of course , my palette is used to Indian after all)

Act 2 Scene 2 – Beast _High intensity cardio 

The one-hour Beast session of the previous  day awakened the Asura in my head. So nothing more needs to be said about this. But for the sake of completeness, here goes.

There was a lot of stretching the first fifteen minutes. After that, there was cardio. Now cardio here was not walking , brisk walking or jogging like folks are normally used to. Cardio here was high intensity interval training (HIIT) magnified  in chest-pounding magnitude of intensity  in a way that made the Tiger Muay Thai and MMA combat camp the stuff of Thai folk tales.

So cardio in this session constituted Russian kettle bell swings followed by rope climbs followed by cross training cycle followed by a run up a nearby set of stairs followed by a set of stand-ups from the back without using one’s hands.  This is one super set and we had to go sets of 3 for each person. Oh and I forgot to mention, in 80% humidity at 35 degrees Celsius temperature of a merciless Thai afternoon.

I just about managed to finish it . The anger pushed me through. Now believe me when I say running the half marathon (considering I do it in like 1 hr 40 min) was a wee bit easier than this. But if it wasn’t for the anger that made it all possible, the 31 year old body of mine (thanks to vices like smoking, drinking, not sleeping and unavoidable factors like the fucked up air-pollution levels of NCR)  had lungs that almost thought of giving up on me despite the Asura mode in the head probably sending neurons to push harder. 

That’s when the second concept came into place .Muso Tensei

Now Muso Tensei as described in the anime Fist of the North Star talks of an awakening power in one who has embraced true sorrow. The mythical, spiritual almost magical power associated with it in the anime is not what I allude to.  I speak merely of the idea and ability to embrace a numbness born out of a projected sorrow, to perhaps make the mind decive the body to momentarily forget pain. Is that possible? I don’t know. I didn’t use any such mental trick with the Beast cardio. But projected a glimpse of it in case, just in case the self projected Asura mind set of sheer anger is not doing it for that session. But the latter mental mode just barely did it that time. But perhaps I need to tap into Muso Tensei sooner or later. Perhaps …

Act 2 Scene 3 – Crossfit _Deadlifts

This session focused on pairing partners of two who are of equal strength . Fortunately , I had one Aussie chap called Joe who matched mine .We then had to work our way for a full body composite movement with the right technique and posture. It was something I already did many times back home at NCR, India with my good friend, Sumit aka Hulk. 

So it wasn’t much we managed to go upto 1.5 times my body weight , I.e., a max lift of 120 kilos for a full final set of 5. Guess doing it decently in 80% humidity (again ) made it more challenging and hence, more mentally fulfilling.  But it was just a physical exertion, didn’t have to be driven by Asura or Muso T. Thanks to the good coach’s technique based approach.


At an overall level, Asura mode was fully mentally active and tappable at will by Day 2. Muso Tensei ? Perhaps for another day. The sorrow was there, in inglorious tons if I am allowed to be vaguely poetic  . But can it be channelled ?

Yours truly

The dark the sporadically fast and the fiery

Ghost Runner

Day 1 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket (the groggy awakening)

June 22

I was picked up the previous night from the airport by an Audi from TMT. That was the first time I was picked up by an Audi from an international airport. Felt good real good. Guess that little thing gave me such a simple minded joy that I totally forgot about Muso Tensei or the hyped Asura mode I planned to bring to the TMT training camp. About these two concepts of Muso T and Asura mode we will talk in a while… Anyway I slept well, to be good for the classes

Act 1 Scene 1 – Crossfit

It was a circuit very much like my version of Lion’s Den (the strength and cardio combinational circuit I created  an year ago, )

Groups of three were made. There were 8 stations , each “station” being a set of one murderously  taxing exercise, to be rotated among the group of 3. To finish a station, each group member has to do 3 sets in rotation. Then the group moved on. So obviously, the slowest or weakest member set the pace for each group to proceed to the next station. We didn’t complete all 8 stations in the one hour.
I don’t blame the slowest member though. I was burning energy but couldn’t tap into the Asura mode I set myself to be in. Why ? Guess I was slightly annoyed at working out in such humidity, me being a person who sweats a lot. Dehydration was not the issue with me, was rather that sticky irritating feeling of sweat and grime . An alternative reason for this could possibly be that some routines were my first time , perhaps my body is not used to them. Did power through though (I am not saying I was the weakest link in the group ) . But alas ! Something bogged me down, some weird mental variable that made me passive enough not to pull the trigger and go absolutely ballistic on the circuit. “Asura ! What happened to thee” I thought.

Act 1 Scene 2 – MMA wrestling + kickboxing

This was a good session with practice of techniques to get into an advantageous position while striking and grappling in a stand-up , very much like in an octagon, ring or street .

Me being the last entrant to the class, I had to make do with a 16 yr old Irish kid as partner to practice the techniques. Well! After practising a bit on the under- and over- hooks and head transitions (where I had to go easy on the power deployment and focus solely on technique , it’s a kid after all !)

Anyway it was time to roll, which is the sparring part of the session . Had to obviously switch partners with bigger people. I wouldn’t exactly say I went all out , 50% of my energy already suppressed due to the earlier cross fit session. And then I underused my strength drastically just because I didn’t feel like it. Sigh ! Guess Asura mode had to wait a bit longer, as I in  all my twisted complacence felt like I needed to show the sparring partners sympathy. Am I good or narcissistic ? I dont know. Anyway at about 20% full power, all the opponents during sparring rounds were dominated . I felt,well, pleasantly smug. But also a bit pensive at the same time because not getting that crazy anger out (Asura mode) beats the purpose of this very soujourn to the combat camp.

Act 1 Scene 3 – Beast

True to its name this training focused on explosive strength , stamina and extreme conditioning (all in 80 % humidity !) The class was tagged as advanced and was for those who were used to greater than 7 years of working out in a high intensity , devil-may-care mental mode.

It followed a pattern of a 3-exercise superset on groups of 3. So I got grouped with a  Dutch chef called Nicholas (who was astoundingly fit despite being an uncompromising foodie) and an Indian chap (who incidentally was from an IIM and working in Dubai of coincidences. Some of us people do have that extra madness in us ..perhaps).

Anyway three exercises were barbell clean and press followed by kettlebell / dumbbell contractions on the lats followed by V-shaped sit ups. That was one round of a super-set, with as many repetitions as possible within a fixed time frame of 1 min for each of the three . And the minimim target was 10 super-sets ! We did 15 , haha. I felt a little more than just pleasantly smug this time. At my turn, the chef Nic and my compatriot were stunned by the madness and a seemingly vengeful pace . This drove them too to finish their turns faster. Which in turn lead to going well beyond expectations set by the Beast session’s instructor

Okay lets take a step back to talk of what was going on in my troubled head during the aptly named Beast session. Mid way in the routines, there was nothing felt , neither exertion nor stress. Just an angry presence inside the belly that almost felt alive. Asura mode was awakening , finally. Lets break down that feeling to its most granular form. It happened so that I tapped into my mind to think of the reason for my this universally-insignificant endeavour . That reason made me angry. In fact if my anger was a sentient being, it was so much engrossed in the act of its existential justification that I could feel my anger cry ! Cry out like a primordially wailing madperson. Then I felt it everytime I finished a super-set in the Beast workout. A glimpse of the singularly-channelled rage driven by that emotional pain I felt in the preceding few weeks, nay, months! I heard that imagined sentient being in all its inglorious insanity. The Asura had finally bellowed his entrance. Finally … the venting is in progress.

Still yours truly,

The dark , the sort of fast and groggily fiery,

Ghost Runner

Day 0 – Of Asuras and Tigers in Phuket (the prologue)

June 21 – 

There is a reason why I am doing this. That is, finally going to the Tiger Muay Thai and MMA training camp in Phuket.Besides the very obvious “it’s on my bucket list” or “I wanted to do it for so long”. Well … you see I have come to believe over the years that doing something you want to do  but deffered over time until the time you actually do it, is sometimes triggered by one major impactful (mentally/ emotionally) event in life. This acts as a catalyst either to invigorate the need for solace or reconciliation or .. hmm, penance !

Now why penance ? Because meditation as I have come to opine over the years, is not necessarily  sitting in a cross legged position and trying to concentrate on a point of focus. It can also be single mindedly doing something with that kind of focus. In Indian mythology, the character Arjuna focusing only on the eye of the woodden bird to shoot it, is also meditation.

My point is I focus my mind better during physical acts of working out or combat training. Things just get clearer. 

But that’s not all … the other point is that putting my body and mind through these gruelling sessions is in a twisted way my penance for something , in allusion to the  event I mention above in the first paragraph. An event or rather the electric episode that I will probably carry to my grave. Unanswered questions and introspective speculations playing not at all a small part in the evolution of that chaos in my head. Channelling such sorrow into a state of stoic unbreakable numbness  is what one can perceive to be Muso Tensei ( cheekily borrowed from Fist of the North Star)

Okay enough philosophy and mental introspection. In the Singapore airlines’ flight to Phuket from Delhi , there was an Indian family who got their rather lavish supply of food in their cabin bags. They couldn’t obviously wait for the food to be served ( happens as per std. Protocol once the seat belt sign comes off). So as expected, before the seat belt sign came off , one of the lads from the family ( mom, dad, daughter and two sons)  got up, got the food out and distributed among his folk . And everyone started gorging on the food in rather loudly, almost belligerently chomping way. The panicky air hostess kindly asked them to buckle back their seatbelts ( which came off so they could  sit in a grandly leisurely way) And then asked them not to eat yet. To that , the crafty lad simply said “Do you have some ketchup”

And so , yours truly,

The dark the fast and the fiery,

Ghost Runner


Lilou and her papa

Once upon a time, circa 2016 Noida sec-137

By the express highway

Lived little lilou

And her papa
“Pa .. I know you hold me dear

But being here, among dust smear,

Can’t help but feel the fear

That us, ma can’t hear”
“No little lilou ! Seems things are dire

In pandemonium and quagmire

But I tell you this .. by ice and fire

Getting us to ma is heart’s desire”
“Pa .. I know you love me too

But being here, seeing what’s true

Others leave their 4 legged kids behind…

…When it’s time to leave. Would you too ? ”
“No little lilou!  Panic you dont need

To your Papa you pay heed

Come what may, at the end of day, someday

You will leave from here , this place called faraway

And you, your ma and your pa will be reunited for that’s the way
(With respect to the above tale , half of overall objective as stated in the last line has been achieved . Hopefully the rest too ,  soon☺. The Odyssey continues)

The curious case of Productivity, Singularity and LEAN

The productivity factor-

Check this video out especially the part with Bruce Lee’s quote on elimination to reach optimal productivity

The singularity factor-

 End of humanity as we know it’s ‘coming in 2045’ and Google is preparing for it … Ergo, an extrapolation of hyper-productivity  is of course singularity 😓

The LEAN factor-

Theoritically, if LEAN teams in businesses around the world reach their holy grail of complete elimination, they should touch hyper productivity . Hence , by transitive connection …

…. LEAN framework and associated Teams are responsible for end of humanity 😅😅😅 ( kidding …LEAN concepts rock !! )

I am Pilgrim – Review

I Am Pilgrim (Pilgrim, #1)I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Guardian review of the book proclaims it as “The only thriller you need to read this year”. Perhaps rightfully so. The book is well researched with a highly intense tempo maintained throughout the long- ish storyline (900 + pages … whoa ! )

So while the length might put off many of the nuclear-reading segment of the ebook age (those who like their books short and sharp), the multiple subplots and parallel story-lines inherent in the book make it more like a collection of stories. Among the major tales, there is one on international terrorism, another on a murder mystery, an underlying plot of the memoirs of an ex-spy , among others. Not bad at all, pretty engrossing once we start getting engrossed.

There has been a lot of ground work apparently done by the author on various aspects from the executions in KSA to the life of a spy to the way espionage politics occur between international intelligence groups to the mercilessly consequential yet high frequency of cognitive dissonance in the secret world . Not to mention the very striking operating procedures of an international undercover job, especially when its one to save the free world.

A good book. Though initially a reader might be overwhelmed by its length, there is a terrible feeling of bereavement when the book is finished. Especially after the chest-thumping, action-oriented climax.

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