Tag Archives: society

The Winds of Raiden

Do not ask me why I name this post so (I am sure there is someone out there thinking … The winds of RaIden ? What in the blue blazes is that ? Raiden passing wind ? Bloody bloke!)

Anyway so there are instances. No! Not just instances but whole fleeting hours! When I visualize me-self having Raiden’s powers (For those who do not still know Raiden, refer to this link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raiden_(Mortal_Kombat) )

Aah so before I digress further, Raiden’s powers of wind lightning and thunder to just blow away , blast away, pulverize away the annoying irritants ! Which  I seem to encounter with alarming frequency in recent times. Which , well is such an a-monkey-obsessively-scratching-his-back  type irritant. Uh ! Doesn’t sound like a critical issue you say ? Well ..do read on anyway  ..

Chapter 1: Mind type

Yes! I am writing. I want to go all macho and say  “I care a rat’s a** about writing and sharing my thoughts…blah blah blah“. But that is not so. Because like the rest of all you good folks out there, no matter how much a mean bastard I think I am, I love my family  and my pals, or anyone of you who graces my blog 😉 ! And if one can either have a jolly good chuckle or a chest-thumping blood-boil at what I write , I am happy to be of service.

Perhaps what initially inspired me (and brought out the currently hyperbole-ing mean streak)  is this man and his autobiography.  The guv’nor is one major “#badass” .May he R.I.P ! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_McLean )

And oh the irritant! The current irritant is  because I believe the thinking-speed of the mind is faster than the speed of typing! (Unless you are “Superman” who is dumb and superhuman, hence a faster typer).

I wish I had some device which reads my thoughts and directly translates it onto the blog-editor. With of course, me having the edit-control of having to either shift between finger-typing and mind-typing. So that I can edit anything that might not want itself to be captured for public viewing (What! Dont give me the “Holier Than Thou”. I know all of your minds have stuff you don’t want out and prefer to keep inside!)

But alas! Why is no one creating this already ? Oi, Mr.Elon Musk  ?

Chapter 2: The dogs of Noida

There are (like in most Indian industrial cities) “societies” in Noida. You know …”condos” ! And since most of Noida along the Noida-Greater Noida Express highway is a barren land with….

  1. the odd buffalo herd,
  2. the less odd UP bhaiyya trying to ask your address and the price of your flat and how much jewelery/ cash  you have in your house
  3. and the least odd Gujjar dude with a gun and  driving a sports car, 

….security is a big issue. Hence, staying here is like trapped in an island with other …err… islanders!

Now the issue with these islanders is that they are absolute zombies who got zombified  in the 80s. Meaning, their awareness has not got into post-liberalization or post-21st century or post-internet mode yet. I am talking about mentality and awareness of doing things optimally. I am not talking of their ability to hit “Likes” on Facebook or “swipe” on Tinder. Anyway, one of the most annoying examples is the way they rear dogs ! Now you see, getting a pet dog (or  any pet for that matter) is a responsibility. Like having a kid, nothing less!

And I see huskies! Yes, Huskies in 45 degree Celcius weather. These families methinks have to show off (Huskies in India means the owner is well off, very well off). But think of the dog, it suffers in any place where the temperature is above 13 degree Celcius! And you cant trap it in an AC room forever , it loves open spaces! Hence, its as if the reasons for banning the whole circus concept are back at a household level again.  The sodomized showboating sadistic poor-dog-exploiting scoundrels!

Then there are another set of dog-owners. Who have no idea that the pets have to be socialized from a young age with both humans and other pets alike. And considering most folks here have pets, it should in theory not be a  problem. But however, the aging paranoia of the conservative pre-liberalization Indian mindset is back.It is so “back” that most people here pull their dogs away hard from both humans and other dogs alike, as if its a blasphemy. And thus, that little dog grows upto be a big dog, who barks and attacks anyone who is not its master, human or  dog alike. This is so rampant around here that folks’ way of greeting another person with a pet is “Namaste ji! Katega tho nahin ? ” .  That is the precise moment when I want to say, “Yeh nahin katega! Main Katoonga bc!!!” 

Well! since natural instinct at least prevents the badly-conditioned dog from being overly aggressive with fully grown humans, it focuses all its mal-conditioned  aggression towards little kids and other dogs. Yes, the targets include well-behaved and well-trained dogs like my Lilou.

Hmm …hate to say it ! But come near my bacchhi and her Papa will have a fatherly duty of reminding the bad dog, the bad owner, etc. about another really big dog in the yard around Noida! A-f***ing-men!

 

Chapter 3: The Elektras

Well, I am a happily married chap who thinks the word “bitch” is the common noun attributed to his four legged little kid (For the blokes who read that wrong  … I am talking about my pet beagle, my little lilou!)

Anyway, perhaps this is what I think makes me make an objective assessment without getting distracted/ mesmerized by the well ..ahem! the whole Elektra thing! What ? Didn’t get it ? To the unconditioned male bugger who lives through a coolest-movies-are-from-comicbooks phase, this is Elektra …beautiful, sexy and seductive  superhuman character with a limitless fantasy-appeal.

 

Anyway, so about all the Elektras . A substantial number of beautiful, strong, well groomed , well spoken ladies who delusionally and proudly believe that they have the “darkest” , most “sinister”, even more “enigmatic” life stories .And because of this , they again delusionally believe they intimidate everyone. Well! A certain chap even said there is a term for them, “The Sigmas”. Hmm …

And hey! As twisted as it sounds, there are by definition Elektras among men too. Pardon me for the brutal honesty! Unfortunately, there are more  Elektras among the men :O How ? Many Indian men emulate their dads, especially with the chauvinistic and male-egocentric-insecurities  part 😐 You and your obsession with your dads! 😛 Read the definition now ..https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex

Anyhow!! If its “mysterious”, isn’t it supposed to be “entirely” mysterious ? And spare the good world the hint-dropping of their self-fabricated enigmas, just for the purpose of intimidating others. So goes the Elektra award to my former high school principal, to the several corporate ladies around NCR (to whomsoever its applicable only please), to the judgmental aunties in the societies of Noida, to the artsy ones who think engineers just add  and subtract digits 😐 and to the watchman in my condo for just being a wuss !

By the way, the mythical Elektra’s depiction is like this below . This person can definitely pass off for a guy too..hallelujah ! Up yours, you bad men !! And no credit to you, you bad women!!

One more time, yours truly,

The dark the fast and the fiery,

Ghost Runner

 

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Theory of Indian RELATIVE-ity : #1

Disclaimer: Hypotheses in the following post have neither been verified nor quantified.

#Naukri Axiom MMXII-X: “The Theory of Indian RELATIVE-ity  “

Boy : Uncle ji ! I got job in Hyderabad/ Bangalore
Boy’s uncle : Abey useless fellow ! Money u spent on IT course vaapas kitne saal baad milega …

(fast forward x yrs)
Boy: Uncle ji ! I got job in Calcutta
Uncle: Abey useless fellow ! Communist banjayega tho khaane keliye sirf laal janda bachega

(fast forward x more yrs)
Boy : Uncle ji ! I got job in Mumbai
Uncle: Abey useless fellow ! Insurance agent bangaya kya ? Lekin tera apna insurance premium bhar paayega ?

x-x

(fast forward some more years) Boy : Uncle ji! Getting married

Uncle : Abey useless fellow! Teri to …

Boy: Wait! Girl’s dad is rich ,,,

Uncle: Waah mere bhaanje ! Mujhe hamesha pata tha tu sabse useful hain ! Dahej kitna mila ?

PIC OF THE DAY

3 SECONDS

DISCLAIMER: Chuck the foreword below if you have  a not-so-long time window! Screw the introduction below too if you have tiny time window! But if you are jobless, read through ….

Foreword: Prof.Srinivas , my +2/12th grade mathematics lecturer was good at teaching mathematics, especially the probability and derivative puzzles.Talking of derivatives, the author need not say that their definition evolves from limits.   Now in this post of the author, let there be  a variable x that denotes clarity of thought and t denotes time. If the rate of change of x and rate of change of t are very very small, it can be denoted by dx/dt which is nothing but the rate of your thought  (has correlated theories from the Inception  logic; but that we shall leave for another day)

Introduction 

By the above logic, if there is an isolated moment where your mind gets oblivious of the surroundings, your thoughts might last longer to your brain than they are in absolute time. (Has a complex and more accurate explanation in relativity; but that we leave for another day)

The main (and simplest) part of the post

It was MMA coaching at * the academy *at Khar.A sparring session was going on.  Neck crank was being executed to near perfection on my …well! …neck (Obviously! Its called *neck crank*)! In that moment of asphyxiated pain, the surroundings went into oblivion and memories became clear and long though within a span of only a few seconds …

THE FIRST SECOND…

‘It was all due to religion oriented culture’  I told Dad…. ‘I mean look at it this way. Christianity was there for two millenia and it did have its share of orthodoxies. But the western world , most of it came out of it to lead a modern existence. So it took them two millenia but they managed to get out of irrational doctrines!’

‘But look at India! Hinduism was there for nearly 4 to 5 millenia. And even then we had hardly got out of many of our irrational doctrines. Why ? Are not persons supposed to get wiser and more mature with age ? So isn’t Hinduism supposed to follow the same logic!’

‘Its not that simple!’ said dad in his usual Donnie Darkoish way.

…. back to present ….. 

I twisted ! The hold on my wind pipe was deflected.I harboured the hope  of getting out of the hold. But then, the well trained opponent of mine wound his legs around my torso to strengthen the hold. And so the 2nd second in mental isolation began  ….

THE SECOND SECOND …

Halley was presiding over a discussion about the education system, economy , and what not on his facebook wall .

The fb status started it all

“The more he invests in religion the more he loses himself” ..
“The more the worker produces the more he loses himself” ..
‘How could one person get so many radical ideas ??’

There was a comment saying *Gen X!* Simply and tersely put!

But that ain’t enough was it ? We had to get **** global**** on this 😉

So there was globe-loving-gratiano-style  that followed ….as shown below 

Anyway I was living and chuckling at this fruitless discussion …

back to the real world ….

I twisted again …. the opponents’s foothold got less firm. He was probably not a big master of stamina though his technique was impeccable. But then he tightened his hands around my spine and neck. Then I went into the third second of asphyxiated painful mental isolation

THE THIRD SECOND  …

It was a phantasmagoria of thoughts and memories. There  was no definition absolute. The surroundings seemed more surreal, like in a dreamy state as opposed to the earlier visions where I saw seemingly realistic memories of isolated incidents.

*The Indian military men got carried away in a fucking garbage truck.Is this the way we treat our martyrs ?? *

*Females get killed at birth because of our existing social systems of dowry,  male chiavunism, patriarchal imbalance, etc.*

* If there are somethings which can be described as **beauty queens of Indianism filled ridiculousness ** you find them in overwhelming abundance(Indians paying surgeons to turn girls into boys) *

*Honour killings in rural India*    

*The country being the world’s hair supplier*

*The industry of spiritual Godmen*   

.....It was starting to get annoying!

back to the real world …

Three seconds done and I was going to go completely out of breath. Out of that desperation and the prior-generated annoyance, I did a full body twist, broke the hold this time and got into a side mount  and threw an Ude-garami to which he tapped to submit.

Phew! I won again, my 16th succesive victory in combat sports…but the country doesn’t seem to be on the winning side 😦  Because of which I don’t feel like a winner as my questions in those three ‘hyper thought rate’ seconds remain unanswered …. 😐

-GhostRunner

Of dogs and dowries

Good news! So I decided to buy a nice litle beagle

The bad news derives itself from the fact that I am somehow reminded of the zero sum game

esp. in the solidly rooted Indian society

You see its like this  … if you have a female dog , a most economic and convenient way of adopting its baby (when your dog gets old and should be replaced) is to place an ad/ check classifieds for a domestic male dog of the same race who would  …help it breed … purely  (and in a rather safer way as compared to your dog pro creating with say  … a street dog) !! You would also be ready to pay for it ….

That sets the author wondering … about the dowry system in India .  It all sounds the  same actually.

Particularly in the south , in the author`s nice little state of A.P … dowries are big time. To ensure that their girl childs get pure-race (sorry! I mean … same community ) breeding partners ( sorry! I mean … loving husbands) . For the purpose of breeding safe ( sorry ! for having a good matrimonial life)§. They are willing  to fix a ransom (sorry ! I mean … the traditional and magnificent dowry package)

Voila! Its heartening to see both men and dogs get paid for sperm :p Its heartening to see that dogs and some Indian communities have evolved into a synchronized state of  buyers` market.

~Ghost Runner

ps: Sound the trumpets …. the ghost is back  !!

ps1 : The prophecy of the last post didnt kill me yet … 6 months into 2010 …as alive and kicking  as a beagle 😉

2010: Gott weiss ich will kein Engel sein

Okay ! That title is  just a steal from Rammstein’s Engel

How many of you would believe in astrology or fore casting or sooth sayers ? Well ! The author doesn’t want to hear an answer. If you are an Indian 20-something , you would effortlessly call it all crap . But yet would be conveniently  part of a social system that makes things like future-seeing, et al a distinct part of social transactional decisions such as marriage, career etc.

This thing … astrology! It might be a case of the stars and their positions. It might actually be a viable science. But then how do the stars determine the future! Even if its true, even if sages of epic Indian myths could forsee the future, I am pretty sure that such a prophecy making science is n’t mastered by the average jyotish / soothsayer who sits in say Chandana brothers in Hyderabad, or the guy who sits wearing a stinking century old lungi in Old City with a bloody parrot which picks up cards.

Okay so much for my defensive act. Now the real deal !!! According to my life-chart, 2010 is supposedly  the darkest year of the author’s life so far. The year that my mother has been dreading since the last 3 years. All this stems from a certain bearded moron who predicted that I would be majorly screwed in 2010. Now I would say “What amazingly ridiculous mother-f***in monkey crap”

But imagine a person being regularly subjected to the  complete weight of  the constantly badgering encores of the prophecy  that predicts  one’s doom! Can’t help but think of being careful !

Anyway Hello 2010!  I am really sorry about all these future-seeing mumbo jumbo that try to insult the hands of fate by making it all sound so predictable . But in case the bull shit is true  …  duh !er !hum ! ..well ! Bring it on bitch! Daddy’s waiting   😛

~Ghost Runner